Christopher Sauer

I messed up a couple of years ago. I am a selfish person in that I have a tendency to lock in on a decision before consulting those I love. I am quick triggered and I regularly act like I have nothing to lose. For most of my life, this has 100% been the case. One cannot devalue something without a perceived worth to the world. And if you hear something enough, even if it is patently false, you just might start to believe it.

A career is just the repetition of showing up to complete someone else’s interest over and over again. When someone offends you, you sometimes make rash decisions. Like quitting a mediocre tech support job in the spirit of floating a giant middle finger blimp across the ocean. None of us know what the future holds, none of us ever have. But it’s never okay to cause turbulence to the stability of your children and their mother on this pursuit.

I’ve learned a harsh bit of accountability over the last couple years, and I would be lying my ass off to say that single decision has paid off at this juncture. I’m truly grateful to the people who can understand the situation, what is at stake, and every day I become more certain that I have the right people on my side. So, like, if I fail, it’s not for a lack of effort. And it’s not for the lack of goodwill. If I fail, it is 100% on me. I don’t often fail, but when I do, it eats at me forever.

Due to the efforts and kindness of others in addition to the work I have already put in, this last week was extremely productive for chasing genuine connections, genuine leads for work, and compartmentalizing my energies to recharge my soul. I truly hope to see the results of my tenacity sooner rather than later, and I appreciate every single person who has kept my name loud, both established associate and friendly stranger.