Nobody likes bad surprises. Especially avoidable ones. Even moreso when that bad surprise impacts a vested interest. Nobody wants to be sold a false bill of goods. Thinking about the person on the other side of the interaction can assist with working towards common understandings.

Managing Expectations

Understanding and communicating the quirks and limitations of any system that you work with is half of the battle. The other half of the battle is making sure that everybody is on the same page about what is wanted, what is possible, and what has specifically been committed to the Statement of Work. The more aligned that folks are on these two things, the easier any work together will be.

In my experience, I’ve noticed that transparency and honesty are the two most important attributes to communicating and managing expectations. I refuse to sell you a shit sandwich and tell you that it is a muffuletta. Nobody likes hearing or delivering bad news, and it can certainly be an anxious endeavor, but the person on the other side of the communication usually appreciates the straightforward nature of the interaction, even when it’s not what they want to hear. I’d rather tell you that we accomplished exactly what we set out to do and repeatedly communicated to each other.

Keeping Your Word

It’s a pet peeve of mine when people say one thing and do another. Especially so professionally. I’ve never understood the bait and switch tactic. I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive because of this, and I’m completely okay with that.

If I’m putting my name on something or behind something, it’s because I believe in the impact of what I am supporting or actively putting my name on. I never want people to misunderstand the intention behind the motive.

If somebody is talking to me, my opinion of them is far higher if they do what they say they will. I don’t ask for a lot from people, but I know that I don’t want to be around people who feel comfortable constantly renegotiating or deliberately misaligning.

Being Respectful

I don’t consider myself to be a beacon of morality. I’ve made plenty of questionable decisions in life. But I refuse to do someone wrong if they haven’t done me wrong first. Naturally, this is not a perfect practice. This is solely the intention.

If you live in my country in 2026, you understand that America is a society where people are increasingly comfortable boldly showing malice. None of us feel great about the current state of our cities, states, or even the overall state of the world.  Life is hard enough that people aren’t excited anymore, they just show up for things.

I got a chance to experience being respectful today when I was getting the oil changed in my wife’s car. The guy at Grease Monkey refused to accept a coupon for $10 even though I told him about it at the very start of the interaction, claiming that his employee threw away what was needed to claim that coupon. Rather than cussing him out (which was the intrusive thought in my mind), I understood that the company did have a policy in place for this (wretched as it was), and I paid for my oil change.

What that guy didn’t realize is that not honoring a $10 coupon means he lost $600 of car repairs in the upcoming months. But he didn’t need to know that. He’s just showing up for things. I don’t know what’s going on in his life. He probably really needs that job and can’t be flexible.

Being Conscientious

People just generally carry out the orders of others to obtain either power or influence. If you’ve ever had a corporate or government job, you know this. Knowing which battles are worth fighting and which ones are not is the ultimate balancing act. Every action has a consequence.

Maintaining the professional tightrope is easier when I prepare for situations, especially when I’m delivering messages to others. A little thinking beforehand means that I can be more present in… well… the present. Having the bandwidth to actively listen and make educated judgments based off what is already muscle memory means I can act proactively and minimize the my reactive footprint.

Bob Ross once said “any time you learn, you gain”. My modus operandi is a little simpler than that. I can summarize mine as “use your brain”. 

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

One cool thing about being neurodiverse is that I have fucking superpowers. I also have a breadth of perspective with a variety of folks because I’ve lived in situations ranging from abject poverty to living among the 1%. Combining these is how I attempt to approach any professional situation involving others.

I’m never trying to put on airs. I’m also not trying to disappoint the people who have invested in me. I’m literally just a zig in a world of zags. Life is far too short for bullshit.

If you can try to meet me where I’m at, I promise to meet you where you’re at. That’s my most important takeaway regarding soft skills. I know you’d appreciate it if the feeling was reciprocal, and it’s really as simple as that.

Outro

I really didn’t want to post about this because there’s a fair amount of content that could be seen as virtue signaling. That’s the last thing that I want to do. The whole idea here is to approach life with intention. Nobody is perfect. Nobody will be. And that’s reality.

Think about how people treat you, then think about how you want to be treated. Are there disparities? Those disparities are precisely what we should focus on, because that’s the special sauce to making a positive impact in the world.